Started school in Germany again and trying to fit in.
It is a hard thing fitting back in because it will never feel like it felt before being here.
I do see things differently now and at times I am more than happy to be back but on other days I just wanna go back.
It is great to know who is your real friend now and who is simply not. It is hard to get used to it but it is how it is. Nobody needs a fake friend.
I just felt like posting what I wrote on a day I just wanted to go back to the US and continue where I left at, but it isn't possible and actually I think I am doing good with the change back to Germany :)
It is a constant up and down which probably only peeps that went abroad understand.
So if you're not an exchange student don't get scared. Everyone is moody at times - so this is from one of my moody days ;)
Being an exchange student is awesome. It opens up a whole new world to you; not only a new world but a new life including family, friends, home, all the stuff you have right now. You’ll experience new things, exciting things. Make memories that last forever.
As awesome as it sounds, it does have a bad side. It is hard. Now you might think it is hard, because you leave your life behind to start a new one, but this is not what I am talking about. Of course it is hard to start from nothing and YES you will get homesick. But the hardest part is being back at the place you used to be.
Being back and realising how things have changed. It comes in waves. At times it is better at times it is like a hurricane and it just hits you. You will miss everything. Even all the bad memories you made. I can’t tell how it might be for you. But for me it is hard, because time after time you realise how good it was to just be gone. How many good friends you made that text you about everyday. But then there is the life you left. People have moved on. They got used to you being gone. You might even be in a new grade. Meet new people which is fun, but they don’t know you. You will start talking to your old friends and realise how bad of a friend you have been the last year, but most importantly know who is your real friend and who isn’t.
It is hard and it might not sound as bad as it is, but not knowing when you get back to the place you call home now and knowing that it won’t be the same is horrible. Although this might be very negative right now, I am glad I got to do my exchange year. It has been awesome and I would do it again. I got a second home, second family, second set of best friends which I miss. Being home is awesome though, too. It just reminds you of how wonderful life is and knowing who is your friend and who cares. I always say how much I miss the US and never how glad I am to be back. I don’t know why, but I am sorry for being this way.
I will try to post more as time goes on but as I said life keeps me pretty busy